WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE HUMAN

psychology

in a motion of chaotic embrace

we delved into the darkness to see the light

to hear the ache and the angst the world makes as it turns

these are the sounds that haunt our ear drums

these are the visions that frighten eye’s dreams

to know and know for certain the depths this bestial mind will go to prove a point

My birthday is monday. If you are my friend I suggest you look at this list of things I want so you know what to get me:

- a car of my own

- an apartment/loft

- a better job with health insurance

-liposuction/gastric bypass

- motivation

-birthday sex

I think ya’ll can pool your money together and figure something out :P

Engage in the Dialogue. Reach out to others! More than anything else, genuinely avoiding depression requires dialogue (“real-talk”), particularly with important others. Rather than hide it, I need to tell them how things are for me. I do this for myself, not to help them (although it might). This inevitably involves revealing how I feel: my hopes, dreams and desires, shames, guilts, fears, disappointments, sadnesses, angers, etc.

Create and Maintain a Support Network. I can assist myself in carrying out this dialogue by making the cultivation of a support network a high priority. A support network is a handful of caring others with whom I feel safe, who I trust to face me honestly even when they chance my becoming sad, hurt or angry.

Get Rid of Toxic People. I can also facilitate the dialogue by eliminating the toxic (pretending, attacking, concealing) people from my life. This may seem cruel, but it is very difficult to avoid becoming toxic in an ongoing relationship with a toxic person. If I, too, become toxic, I harm both of us; we both will drown. To remedy this: First, through dialogue (that is, by my being non-toxic, straight, authentic), I invite the other person to be non-toxic (investing as much time and energy as I’m willing to invest in that possibility). Then, if I have succeeded to my satisfaction, I use the dialoguing skills to express my pleasure; If I haven’t, I use the same skills to terminate the relationship and to grieve its ending.

Keep a Journal. When I am overwrought and the appropriate person isn’t available to participate in the dialogue, I can gain perspective and reduce panic by engaging in a different sort of dialogue: by keeping a journal (either written or on tape). In the journal, I can speak to myself, my journal or that other person. This helps me discover what I am feeling and what I need to say and do, and to whom. Later on, reading my journal can be further illuminating.

Do a Reality Check. I have often discovered that my “I’d bet on it” assumptions about another person were incorrect. It is particularly when I believe I am flawed that I am most likely to assume about you what supports my view of myself as deficient, and to act accordingly. (For example, I might assume that you didn’t talk to me today because you find me boring and are trying to avoid me. As a result, I might try to impress you.) You’ll be put off by that and push me away. This will most likely elicit my attempt to escape which, in turn, is likely to result in depression. Rather than jumping to conclusions about why you didn’t talk to me, I can “reality check.” (“When you didn’t talk to me all day, I began to wonder whether I’ve done something that bothered you. I want to check that out, because our relationship is important to me.) This is a powerful tool for avoiding such self-fulfilling prophesies.

Acknowledge the Crisis. When I attempt to stave off being depressed by trying to deny, ignore or rationalize the crisis that I am experiencing, I increase the likelihood of becoming depressed; or, if I am already depressed, I interfere with the process of truly surpassing being depressed. Acknowledging the crisis helps me to resolve it. For example, when my lover leaves me, admitting that I am afraid people will think I can’t hold onto a lover, because there is something wrong with me, reduces the likelihood that I will become or remain depressed.Admit That You Feel Sorry For Yourself. The nearly universal injunction not to feel sorry for myself, if obeyed, leads down the path toward depression. In fact, most of us have lots of reasons to feel sorry for ourselves. Truly acknowledging this truth can help alleviate depression.

Nurture Your Scared Self. Those of us who have been raised in discounting environments tends to be hard on ourselves. This fosters being depressed. On the other hand, self-kindness (e.g., patting myself on the back for a job well done, taking a bubble-bath, buying myself a favorite food or a new shirt) can enhance self-esteem and make becoming depressed less likely.

Take Very Good Care of Yourself. Those of us who tend to become depressed don’t do very well when it comes to basic self-care. (This stance towards one’s self is revealed in a statement that I’ve heard often: “I only cook when I have company. It’s too much trouble to cook for myself.”) Taking very good care of myself requires that I value how I feel, and that I act on the basis of it. This means that I consistently take the time to provide myself with: 

• sufficient sleep (eight hours for practically all of us)
• a healthful and tasty diet
• adequate and appropriate exercise
• play and entertainment (taking time to “smell the roses”)
• private time (time by myself, giving to myself—especially important for single parents)
• intimate time (time being close to another human being whose presence I value)

Breathe. It may surprise you that we have all learned very early in life to hold our breath in order to lessen our awareness of pain (whether it be a stomach ache or the pain of being left out). However, this interferes with our ability to really grasp how we’re affected and to deal effectively with it. If getting in touch with how you’re affected is a frightening prospect, I recommend that you approach it with the help of a therapist who is skilled in dealing with such matters.

I want

these words come out of my mouth too frequently

Dating Persona

Capable. Trustworthy. Carnal. The Intern.

From our experience, Interns are nice girls who would really, really like us to come on to them. They, like you, must be looking for sex, preferably from someone good-looking and successful.

The thing is, you’re a little bit quiet, so men think you’re waiting for them to start things. You do like sex a lot, they’re right about that, but few of them realize you’re a genuinely thoughtful person.

You’re choosy, not wanting to get mixed up with just anyone. Girls can get away with this kind of selectiveness for some reason. Most guys have to take whatever’s lying around, passed out.

You’re not necessarily looking for a steady relationship right now; that’s cool. Be careful to avoid people trying to tie you down to anything other than bedposts.

Yep, sounds like me